I have also taken it upon myself to conduct a social experiment using myself as the subject. I am going to meet as many new people as possible. Make new friends. This would seem an easy task. I mean, come on, meeting new people? puhlease! But, being by myself essentially with no friend at hand back up I'm making myself extremely vulnerable. Being vulnerable is obviously a very uncomfortable state. But, in order to stretch myself and perfect my mingling I must take these missions and accomplish them. Time and time again I learn it's not what you know it is who you know. How can I know anyone if I don't put myself out there? Plus, what exactly do I have to lose? I make people laugh at parties, I'm not a complete social retard, and from what I've been told I have not too bad of taste. Haha. Also, who rejects the compliment of someone wanting to be their friend? I think it's a flattering gesture. Of course without any hidden agendas. I truly love meeting new people, and this environment kinda calls for it. I keep wishing that one of my friends were here, that would make this whole ordeal a bit easier. But I'm not exactly in it for the easiness of it.
On a whole other note, I've been thinking about the concept of friendship, what it entails, and what are some of the most important attributes. Having gone through numerous relationships because of many different situations I have started to narrow down what exactly is a great friend. One particular past relationships stand out clear in my mind. This person (Who will remain unnamed) was essentially put on a pedestal in my mind. This being my own fault, one shouldn't do that to anyone or anybody for we're all merely human. But to continue on with my thought process... this person (disregarding putting him/her on a pedestal) portrayed themselves to be someone of kindness, generosity, and sincerity. Push came to shove and this person dropped me like the old saying 'a hot tamale.' Showing his/her true character. They weren't a loyal friend, they were essentially a weak person. I don't say this in a judgmental sense, I say it in a wise sense so to speak. Having had many friendships I have experienced tough times and I knew I needed to pull through, and if the friendship held value and substance I did my best to be that loyal friend. The weak give up when the going gets tough. When it's no longer convenient and leisurely they see no sense of continuing, because, well, that'd just be going out of their way. So, here the friendship is... dead. So I sit and think about all the things this said person has said, and the one of the most I'd say horrific things is to find out that what someone said to you, all the sweet nice things... were lies. I dislike liars and fakes more than death, spiders, rapists, murders, and et cetera. I adore and respect real people. People who don't put on a face. Now, this is evidently repeated rhetoric. You can read the last two sentences on any pre-teens myspace. "OMFG I hate liars! they suckkkkk! >:( >:( >:( Lolz" But, they have it right. I don't care if you're the biggest jerk in the world as long as you don't fake you aren't. I know a few particular people who are particularly rude, and brash. But I KNOW they are, they don't put on some show for me or anyone. I don't really like their behavior so I don't spend large amounts of time with them but I know how they are. The worst thing is being best friends with someone and when it all comes down to it they are really a huge jerk. It was all fun and games till the going got tough. So, haha, after much ranting the key to a great friendship is not only honesty when it's needed, but in general. You don't want to hang out? Lets not. I'd rather someone say they don't want to then say they do and resent me during the time of hang-age. After the real factor everything falls into place. If they are real to you you'll know if they are great friend material and compatible with you. I wish I could end it with, easy as pie! But finding such people is more difficult than it should be.
I also have to say, while I can write out the wazoo I've failed to write any great poetry lately. It always seems cliche' or repetitive. Being in a general happy frame of mind doesn't help either. The emotion of happiness uses the least amount of brain waves. Keeping that in mind my poetry has this aurora of just gray. I'm thinking, well hoping really, being in this different environment will help with my change of pace and things will inspire me again. I must buy a small notebook so I can write down lines that I think of throughout the day. While my cell phone is very handy it's annoying typing in every little line, or thought.
Well, while it is only 10:47 pm here... I'm stilling running on central time.
So this is the end to my long blog.
Goodnight, sleep well, and dream big ;)
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