Adventure

I am craving spontaneity.

I am starting to despise the very things that hold me together.

I need an adventure.

When will deadlines, calendars, and money cease to control me? 

I need to stop the worrying.

The clock is ticking slowly against me.

Time for these things is slowly running out.

I need to make my first move.

Because, before you know it.

I'll be dead. 

I hate to say Goodbye, but everyone has to in the end.

   I wish I could remain friends with everyone I've ever become friends with. I love having friends. I actually miss a lot of the people I used to be friends with. I forgive so easily, which isn't bad...but need to remember why I stopped being friends with certain people. But, still, I miss them a lot. Some I laughed all the time with, we were hilarious if you asked me and we had the best conversations, but you HAD to backstab me. Why? Why'd you have to ruin it? We had so much fun and we had a lot in common.

  One of my past relationships still astounds me.... how we went from having fun every single time we were with each other... to this hatred towards me. I don't even know why. I thought we had such great conversations. I remember loving to text you random things I thought, or keeping a list so the next time I talked to you I could tell you all the interesting things I had learned/thought/felt or you'd find funny or amusing. But that's life isn't it? People come and go.

And, no matter the outcome, I'm glad I met every single friend I ever had. I've learned so much from each individual that it outweighs the negative. 

Oh well, like in my previous post. Atlas shrugged, as will I.

I'll meet more people, develop other relationships, and learn new things. 

Circle of life, eh?

I must admit I'm truly happy and wouldn't change anything.

I've loved the time I've spent with my family in Colorado, and tomorrow I leave for home.

As much as I love Colorado & my family it'll be nice to see all my friends again.

I'm very excited to see what God has in store for me.

And I don't know if you read this or not.

But I still care about you and it makes me sad that you are so angry towards me.

I like for things to be right, and happy.

I hope you can understand that.

Maybe, someday you will. Until than you are in my prayers. :)

Off to eat some food and enjoy the mountain scenery. 

Goodbye <3

Words.

  I could say a million things right now. But, I can't.

Thought you should know. 

-anonymous 

("Mr. Rearden," said Francisco, his voice solemnly calm, "if you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders-what would you tell him to do?" 
"I . . . don't know. What . . . could he do? What would you tell him?" 
"To shrug." )

That segment of conversation has changed my life.

For ever. 

Eh.

   So the social experiment I spoke of in my last blog... is so far... failing miserably. 

I try to find moments when it's appropriate to engage with people, but it seems all the teenagers here are moping around and not wanting to be here. Or, they have a group of friends with them so they aren't interested in any interaction with people not in the group. I want it to be natural, if I force it'll be more awkward than it already is. My Grandma said, "The normal people aren't here, its all these people just for the art festival. Wait till it dies down and see whose left after the festival leaves." Well, that seemed logical. Why would you be trying to make friends if you're only here for the weekend? I would... but than I'm not like most people. I've made a few of the artist laugh but they're busy with their booths thus not able to really interact because they're trying to sell their stuff. Hmm. Well I still have a week and tomorrow is the Alpenglow Concert so all the people will be there, so I'm going to try my social skills than. 

   In other news, I've bought the coolest piece of artwork! I'm so excited about it. I'm trying to build up a nice collection of art so that when I move out I can decorate nicely. So, if you're reading this... and you paint/draw/sculpt/ceramic things, comment on this and give me your info! If I like your stuff I'll buy it. (At a reasonable price though, haha.) I've been working on my art work so that I can hang some of my own stuff as well. Someday I'm going to make a collage of all the little drawings my little brother Marc drew me. He's the cutest thing when he's not being a tard. (Which is...an obvious thought) 

Well, I'll keep you (well whoever reads this blog haha.) updated on my social experiment.

I'm going to have a youtube marathon with the grandparents. Later.